What’s Weird to You Is Normal to Me: Five Things Society Should Stop Shaming

The beautiful thing about the world is everyone living on it is different. We all have diverse experiences while living our lives. We learn, change, acquire new tastes, make mistakes and grow into the person we’re meant to be. As we go through life we are conditioned to believe that certain things in society are “shameful.” Having a baby out of marriage is nonsense, not going to college is frowned upon and God forbid your son tells you he’s gay.

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But have you ever thought, “What makes me feel this is wrong, and why do I feel so powerful about another person’s life that has NOTHING to do with mine?” I repeat – NOTHING to do with mine. We speak before we listen, criticize instead of question and judge before we understand which results in the loss of friendships, business partners and sometimes family members.

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With that being said, here’s my take on the top five societal taboos the world should stop shaming.

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1. Homosexuality

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Listen here, why do some of you care so much about who people love? Does their life have anything to do with you? Short answer: No. As if homosexuality prevents you from living YOUR best life. It doesn’t. People love who they love – period. It’s crazy that so many people think you should force someone to love a person they aren’t attracted to. And don’t get me started on this, “You choose to be gay” mind set. If that’s the case, people also choose to be heterosexual, if we’re using the same logic. Using that same logic again, with the world being so against the LGBTQ community why would anyone “choose” to be disliked, oppressed, targeted for abuse and criticized on a universal level. Some of you call yourselves Christians but are the first to judge, just have seat. Oh, and when you take that seat make sure you hand over all the culture you took from the community you shun so much. No more “my face is beat,” “gagging,” “tea,” “shade” or “slaying.”

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2. Not Taking Your Man’s Last Name

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Guess what, women have identities too. It wasn’t until 1972 that women were legally allowed to keep their “maiden” name. Emphasis on “allowed.” Prior to then, when a couple was married the two people were now considered one by law – in all aspects. That meant the husband’s identity superseded his wife’s. Not only that, you (a person) belonged to your husband. He was the only one able to vote, buy property and do other normal activities that PEOPLE do. Surprisingly in 2017 we still think it’s “disrespectful” or “weird” when a women chooses her name over her spouse’s. Nearly 90 percent of women still uphold this tradition and roughly 50 percent of Americans believe it should be illegal for women to not take her husband’s name. That’s insane. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with accepting your boo’s name, but I’m also saying there’s nothing wrong with not taking it either. What I am saying is that it’s her choice.

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3. Teen Pregnancy

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Look, let’s be honest. Shit happens. That sounds careless but it does. We are sexual beings and no one has gone through life not being curious about sex, which is a popular topic in all areas of the media. Your children hear about it in music, on television, film and even in books. No, children shouldn’t be having sex at certain ages but it happens so it’s best not to be so judgmental with a situation as delicate as this one. First and foremost, parents educate your children on sex and their bodies. Promote abstinence as well as safe sex. On another note – you never know how someone became pregnant so be sure to be empathetic when addressing the person.

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4. Living With Your Parents In Your Early to Late 20s

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I don’t care what anyone says, if I could live with my parents I definitely would. For some, living with your parents means less bills, more saving money and good home cooking. At least that’s how I look at it. In reality, there’s nothing wrong with allowing your child to become financially stable before moving out, which is how parents should see it. Now, if your child is a couch potato, who doesn’t want to do anything with their life, then that’s a different story. All-in-all cut people some slack and stop acting like it’s hella inexpensive to live in 2017.

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5. Women Proposing to Men

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Again, why do y’all care about a ring that isn’t yours? People act like they’re paying for the wedding. If a woman wants to propose to the man she loves that’s on her. Personally, it’s not for me but I also don’t see anything wrong with a woman expressing her love in this way. I believe that when a man is “ready” he will propose but the same can go for a woman.

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The Moral of the Story Is…

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You aren’t their daddy, you aren’t paying any of their bills so mind ya business… No, but seriously. Everyone is different and we’re all experiencing life together. Understand the reason we feel, think and believe what we do is a combination of nurture vs nature. Sometimes we are conditioned to believe things are “weird” because it’s not what we’d do. Other times we disagree because we can’t fully comprehend all the details. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make something wrong, it just makes it different and that’s okay.