I’ve experienced this a lot myself. I have quite a few friends that chose the married route straight out of high school. I, myself, chose a career path. The whole family thing is great, but in this day and age I know that even that doesn’t last forever. I don’t fault my married friends though, they found someone for them. Congratulations. What I never quite understood is why they get married and disappear. Even worse, they avoid you like the plague.
I’ve had a few of these scenarios happen. I had a really good friend in high school get married after we graduated. We’ll call her Wifey A. I knew her now husband very well. As soon as she tied the knot, we lost touch. When I say lost touch, I mean LOST TOUCH. We reconnected again after maybe a year and went out for drinks. Hubby, again who I knew pretty well, was not happy with that at all. In fact, he didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to be hanging out with me anymore and especially not at a bar. Wait, so did he think I was going to irresponsibly expose her to the post graduation single life that she didn’t really get to enjoy because she jumped the broom so early? Did I somehow strike him as the type of friend that was going to go around nonchalantly introducing her to single guys and somehow force them to sleep with each other? Did he not trust me or did he not trust her? Who knows the real answer behind it but needless to say, she chose the marriage over the friendship. Haven’t spoken to her since.
Then there is Wifey B. Again, another friend that I’ve known for a while, even longer than Wifey A. She went to college, got married, had kids, the whole nine. She got married and she kept me at an arm’s distance. I’ve never met her husband or any of her kids. I never quite understood what happened. It was all good just a week ago. Later down the road the grapevine started whispering and people had been saying there was trouble in paradise long before the marriage even started. Wifey B had been accusing Hubby of infidelity and because of it, she decided to keep him away from all of her single friends. So it all started to make sense, HER man cheats but we gotta be the whores? As if he’s not going to find someone to smash who just happened to not be her friend. As if that would never happen. No, it would never happen.
Lastly there was Wifey C. She was just the pure uppity type. Once she got married it was only cute to do things with other couples, preferably married or engaged couples. When we did speak, it always somehow turned into her talking about her husband or giving me relationship advice so I guess in this case you could say I ended the relationship with her. Look, the only housewives I am remotely interested in are either on VH1 or Bravo. Your boring marriage conversation doesn’t intrigue me in the slightest. I mean, we can’t even talk about music without her starting a conversation off with her husband. Anytime we wanted to make plans to maybe see a movie or have drinks, she had to tag him along as well. Either the honeymoon phase hadn’t ended or she just didn’t want him to be alone. Everything had to instantly become a couples retreat. Needless to say, I was over it.
I’ve never been married before but for those of you who have, is there a special code in your vows that say you can’t be friends with your girl friends anymore? I know your vows read to forsake all others but my singleness doesn’t rub off on you, I’m not rubbing off on your man, and I want to spend time with YOU, not you and him. Something has got to give.