Frenemies: The Toxic Friends You Need to Cut from Your Life for Good

The saying “Keep Your Enemies Close” might sound wise, but let’s face it—it’s arguably one of the most misguided pieces of advice floating around. Why would anyone want to keep their enemies, or worse, frenemies, within close proximity? A frenemy, that peculiar blend of a friend and enemy, poses as a pal but is, in essence, a rival in disguise. Someone who seems to be on your side but is actually plotting your downfall.

We’ve all encountered these types. They might come off as the innocuous ‘Mrs. Me Too’, always one-upping you in every conversation:

• You excitedly share news about your latest fashion purchase, only to hear they had it years ago.
• You mention scoring tickets to a hot concert, and suddenly, they not only have tickets but better seats.
• You talk about purchasing a dream car, and lo and behold, they go out and buy something pricier or more exclusive.

Such “friendships” are far from genuine and are steeped in toxicity. Recognizing the types of frenemies can help you steer clear of their negative energy:

1. The Promise Breaker: Ever had a friend always flaking out on plans, especially ones they seemed excited about? Disappearing when it’s time to live up to their promises is a red flag signaling a one-sided friendship.
2. The Double Crosser: This type betrays you in profound ways, like spreading harmful rumors or sabotaging your relationships. They’re the embodiment of betrayal, using closeness as a weapon against you.
3. The Self-Absorbed: Ever felt like a sounding board rather than a participant in a conversation? The self-absorbed frenemy monopolizes every discussion, making your role in the friendship all about catering to their ego and problems.
4. The Blabbermouth: This frenemy can’t keep a secret, spilling everything you share in confidence. While not the most malicious, their inability to respect privacy erodes trust and intimacy in the friendship.
5. Mrs. Me Too: Competition can be healthy, but not when it’s between friends. This frenemy views your successes as challenges, always trying to outdo you rather than celebrate your achievements.
6. The Fault Finder: Constant criticism and judgment from a friend can be demoralizing. Instead of uplifting you, this frenemy is always pointing out flaws, undermining your confidence and achievements.

If you find yourself entangled with a frenemy, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship. Genuine friendships are built on mutual respect, support, and confidentiality—not competition, betrayal, or one-upmanship. While it can be difficult to cut ties, especially with someone intertwined in your life, your well-being and peace of mind are paramount. Remember, it’s better to be surrounded by a few true friends than a crowd of frenemies.