Ballerific Relationships: You Don’t Learn to Accept His Kids, You Learn to Love Them

Ladies, do you date men with children? If so, you know that it can be quite an experience for both of you. Being a parent is hard, especially when you add the daily struggles of life, work, dating & relationships, and family into the equation. It may not be easy,  but it can be beneficial if you are looking to grow in family and love.

Although many women struggle with dating as a single parent, we rarely hear about the men who are starting from scratch or looking for love while parenting. Dating seems to be a gray area when involving one’s children, but why? Is it because people are less accepting, or are we overly protective of our offspring because of the negative energy that we have learned to tolerate in our personal relationships?

Maybe some are sheltering their children from women who they know aren’t worthy to be in their lives, or just hoping that they will step up to the role and help. Men are not always shown the same respect as women in regards to dating while having children. Meeting a woman can sometimes add more problems to a man’s plate than he bargained for, but if she’s the right type of woman, she will embrace him and his situation.

Decisions that were easy seem to be a bit more challenging, and he finds himself having to choose between time with his children and time with her, with the weight of the world still on his shoulders. Realizing that the adults must be adults and that kids have to be treated as Children is the first step to making things work.

Everyone has a role and as parents, some of us are still trying to figure that out. If you date a man with kids, don’t expect him to be all about you ladies. Is priority is the care and well-being of his offspring, regardless of his relationship with their mom. He still has an obligation to the family that he created whether you like it or not. So make your peace with it and enjoy being a part of a blended family.

When approached cautiously, you set the tone for the relationship that your significant other has with your children. Setting boundaries, limitations and safe words in a relationship gives everyone a comfortable position and leg to stand on.

Being a parent is a daunting task that leaves many unanswered questions, but your team is as strong as you are. Co-parenting can be done not only by the biological parents, but step parents are teammates too. Learn to trust, build, and love the team you play with.