From A Man’s POV: Is He Intimidated By You Or Does He Feel Uncommitted To By You?

Ladies, this blog was not written for you to agree with. It was written from a man’s perspective to show how we feel concerning dealing with a successful woman or our refusal to do so, in hopes that women’s actions might change towards us because of this new found understanding.

I recently had a couple conversations with two of my good female friends, @fbffitness and @gospelcakemaker_dsm; they are two women who are confident and doing pretty good for their selves. In these separate conversations, the same question was proposed to me. How do I keep a man from being intimidated by my success? I must admit, I didn’t have a great answer when they asked me but as I was finishing up my new book “Broken Pillars,” I realized I already answered the question in the book but at that time it wasn’t connected to this particular question. The answer was in a combination of two chapters. One on getting women to acknowledge and embrace men’s emotions, the other on why men sometimes come off as prideful.

In order to reconcile the seeming insecure man and the successful woman, the first thing women have to lose is thinking a man can be “Too emotional for a man.” This thinking prevents a man from being whole and doesn’t afford the woman the opportunity to see how her actions may be wrong in some cases. If she has the thought “He’s a man, he shouldn’t feel any type of way about this,” she is dooming every relationship she will ever be in. So ladies, it is imperative that you know men are emotional and that you don’t dismiss their emotions as weakness or being un-manlike.

If you have accepted that men have emotions, let’s understand what’s going on in the mind of a man.

“You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me. I can have another you in a minute/matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute……. Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking, you’re irreplaceable.”

While many women loved this song (trust me I do understand why) the expression of this thinking is why successful women have hard times finding a man that can deal with them. When a man encounters a woman who is well off, his PERCEPTION (KEY WORD) is her thinking, is that of this song. So in response to what she may be expressing and what he just might believe, he thinks “No matter what I do, she’ll always feel like she can replace me with any man.”

Ladies, be honest. Would you like to be in a relationship where you feel easily replaceable?

Would you be comfortable knowing that your role in his life could be filled by any woman walking down the street?

In my last blog “Why Independence is destroying our society” I briefly spoke about wedding vows. I speak about wedding vows because I believe all relationships should be heading towards marriage. (But hey, I’m a traditional guy; some people think marriage is outdated. Those that think that shows why our society is so bad. Anyway.) In wedding vows, there is one constant theme in them no matter how they’re worded. The theme is that the person they’re marrying is IRREPLACEABLE.

On their wedding day, the couple is assuring one another that no one could take their place and that they want to spend the rest of their lives with them. This is what all women want right? You want a man that is totally committed to you and not have to worry about him creeping off with one of his Instagram followers. Well this surety is not perceived by men to be present when he is talking to a successful woman.

While women look at these men as insecure, the fact is some of them aren’t. Their problem has nothing to do with what the woman makes or what she can do without them. Their issue is they don’t believe that a woman who to them has the mindset that every man is replaceable will be fully committed to them. It’s not that they don’t want to deal with a woman with money or a woman that’s confident; they don’t want to deal with a woman who doesn’t value their presence.

When people have valuable items, they tend to keep them in more secure places than valueless items because they don’t want to lose what’s valuable to them. The things they can easily replace, they don’t care as much if they lose, because they’re easily replaceable. When a man meets a woman he feels thinks men are replaceable, he instantly sees himself as potentially being like one of these valueless items. Even though he’s yours, he’s on the outside as something you can lose and be fine without.

This presents an issue to men because we feel if we have an argument about anything, it will result in you saying, “You can leave. I don’t need you.” If a man feels a vibe from a woman that makes him think an argument will lead to this and not her trying to work it out, he will be hesitant about dealing with her. He will feel that because she believes she doesn’t need him that she will not be committed enough to work on the relationship but when problems arise, she will be looking for a replacement, since he’s so easily replaceable.

I know I’ve witnessed firsthand on plenty occasions, where if a man lives with a woman and they argue, she tells him he can leave. This is what a man is afraid of when he meets a well established woman. It’s not about him feeling inferior because she makes more money than him; it’s him feeling that at any moment she will easily let him go because she doesn’t value him at what he’s worth.

This is also evidenced by men that make a lot of money who don’t want to deal with successful women. Even if he makes more than her, he is reluctant to deal with her, not because of her finances but because of the attitude most women with money have. When he deals with a woman with little to nothing it’s not always to control them; it’s to feel valued and appreciated in the relationship.

In this we see it’s not about a man feeling insecure because he makes less, it’s all about the attitude some prominent women posses. What women feel is them being confident in themselves and independent; to men, we see as arrogance. We see a woman who is turning her nose up at every man and feels as if no man can add any value to their lives. While it may not be true for every successful woman, it’s what men feel when they meet a financially stable woman.

My intent in this blog is not to make women apologize for their success; the purpose is to show women how their actions have come across to us so their success will not get to their head. Just because you’re successful doesn’t mean you can’t be humble. Yeah I know, I’m a misogynist that only thinks women with money should be humble and not men.

That is not the case at all. I do not promote male dominance. I do not think men are superior to women or that women should just bow down and be at a man’s beck and call. It is my desire that both men and woman learn to understand each other better so our actions will be better received. Since I’m a man, I can only speak from a man’s point of view. Not that I blame women for everything but as a man, I can only speak on what bothers men.

So to all the financially secure ladies out there that feels like men are intimidated by you or insecure because of your success, I challenge you to rethink that position. Assess yourself and see if you give off an aura to men that any moment you can and will leave them and life will keep rolling like they never existed.

Stay tuned for my next blog “What successful women should do to make a man feel secure.” By @Mitchell_Chance