Belligerent Cop Arrested In Baltimore For Biting A Man In The Testicles

I can not begin to tell you how hilariously sidesplitting it was coming up with the above title; but as far fetched as it sounds, it actually happened! Last week Tuesday, on Cinco de Mayo, an off-duty, 10 year veteran of the Anne Arundel police department, Michael Flaig, went out to celebrate the festivities.

According to court documents, Flaig (age 31) was inappropriately fondling a woman when her male roommate caught wind of the situation and peacefully stepped in on her behalf. The roommate then left the pub they were in, only to hear rapid footsteps behind him. As soon as he turned around he saw a drunk Flaig swinging at him.

The victim “Mayweather-ly” managed to dodge all the trained officer’s punches, whose missed hits brought him to the ground. The off-duty cop then dragged the man down to the ground with him. During the tussle the man eventually straddled over Flaig, pinning him down in an attempt to keep him from running away while onlookers called the police. A second, still unidentified man (possibly a fellow cop *sips tea*) began to punch the victim in an attempt to free Flaig. Still unable to get out from under the man’s stronghold, a desperate Flaig then allegedly bit the victim in the crotch area and ran.

“The bitee actually got the better of him in the fist fight. After we broke them up is when he disclosed he’d been bitten in the testicles,” said witness Thomas Bourne to NBC. “He was upset, took him a long time to calm down. He indicated he needed medical assistance. He was bleeding in his area after what happened.”

Witnesses approached responding officers with descriptions of the fleeing off-duty officer, who had apparently just relocated to another bar on the same block. The court papers claim officers found Flaig with “blood shot eyes, slurred words and a strong odor of (alcohol) coming from his person.”

Flaig was charged with assault, and according to Arundel County Police, his authorities have been suspended while being placed on a paid administrative leave.