Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater. By:Milagros Reyes @milagreee

There are some signs that men and women are just cheaters. “you keep them how you get them.” If a man that approaches you when you know he has a girlfriend, the chances are that he might just do the same thing to you. Not only are the odds against you, but because you knew that this relationship started while he was with someone else. But not every man is a cheater. Just like not every woman is a cheater. When you go into any kind of relationship assuming that a man or the woman is a cheater, you’re almost setting yourself up for failure. When you start thinking and accusing a perfectly faithful man of cheating, hes going to start to believe that no matter what he does, you will always think he is cheating, so why the hell not.

I don’t believe that starting a relationship with someone who already is in a relationship, regardless of whether you become the side chick or he leaves her for you, is a healthy way to start a relationship. In the back of your mind you’re continuously going to wonder if he is going to cheat on you as well and it might have been a once in a life time thing to him, but if you continue to question and accuse, you might just push him to actually do it.

Same goes for you as the woman, if you left one man for another, chances are that the man you’re currently with is going to have one hell of a time trying to maintain a trusting relationship with you. He might start going through your phone and you’re going to get sick of all the damn accusations and either leave him or find someone else and continue the cycle.

When you get validated for having a certain characteristic, such as funny or faithful, a humans reaction is to want to keep being funny or faithful because you have validated their identity. They like the fact that you think this way of them and want to continue to be this way for you. But if you start off a relationship with accusations of cheating, all its going to do is make a person feel as though that is the validation or the idea you have of them and that there will be no winning with you ever and that can only end in failure.

Not everyone cheats, but not everyone is faithful. If you are smart, you will pay attention to the red flags that people put off. There is nothing more tell-telling than those pesky red flags. Those will tell you the type of man or woman you are with. Like someone’s smart grandma says “You keep them how you got them.”