This Is Swae Lee, Don’t Be Like Swae Lee: 5 Ways To Not Get Caught Up By Your Jump Offs

This is one of those times where having a “type” would come in handy. Skateboarder Dorothy P. Hastings took to Twitter Saturday night to brag about bagging  1/2 of Rae Sremmurd. I would have been more impressed if she scored both, but I digress.

In the wee hours of the night, Hastings posted photos of herself laid up with Rae Sremmured rapper Swae Lee. “This cud be us but u playin #RaeSremmurd,” she said, captioning a photo of Swae Lee asleep next to her.  The post didn’t work out in her favor, however, because Twitter couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t exactly the “bad b*tch” they would have hoped for. Not only that, she was rocking two obvious black eyes. Don’t worry, she says she got them from skateboarding, not from Swae Lee. 

After being dragged on social media, Hastings posted another photo of her and Swae saying, “HATERS OUT HERE JEALOUS AS F*CK.”

I guess girl…

So for Ballers to avoid being caught up in the game, I’ve come up with 5 simple steps to follow.

Step 1:  Only F*ck With Chicks Who Got Sh*t To Lose  – Ballers, STOP messing around with girls who lose nothing by exposing you. Yes, that means that in 2016 it is time to level up on the type of girl you choose to sleep with. No more gutter rats. I know that this means you may have to work a little harder to get in her pants, but it’s a small price to pay when you’re famous. Start dealing with women who know that exposing YOU just exposes THEM. Women with careers and families. Women who want to keep your “relationship” as clean and positive as you do. 

Step 2: Phone Check Homie – Fellas, take a note from Chris Brown and stop letting these ladies bring their cell phones into the bedroom. Have your security hold on to their phones until you are done doing what you have to do. No pics, so it didn’t happen. Simple as that. 

Step 3: Stop Sleeping On Em – You would think this one was common knowledge but it’s still a mistake Ballers make every day. STOP FALLING ASLEEP WITH CLUB RATS IN YOUR BED! Not only does this leave you with opportunities to be exposed online, but it also leaves you vulnerable to being robbed. Stop getting dumb high, having sex, then falling asleep. If you feel yourself getting woozy, call the girl an Uber home. 

Step 4: Follow Your Gut – You can always tell when a chick is just a little TOO happy to be around. Any groupie who comes off too excited, like she’s never been anywhere before, is probably trouble. Keep your guard up! I mean, come on Swae, she had “F*ck Me” written on her tits and was taking pics you didn’t even know about. Clear sign that she was extra!

Step 5: Put It On Paper – Confidentiality agreements between Ballers and Groupies are not a myth. Make her sign one. Protect yourself! Think of it as a condom for your career….speaking of condoms, wear one!

Now check out more photos of Swae Lee and the skater groupie below.