We’ve seen all kinds of relationship drama in the culture. Side pieces. Emotional affairs. Secret DMs. But 2026 just introduced a whole new level of situation that nobody was ready for, and it doesn’t even involve another human being. A new study just dropped that should have everyone in a relationship sitting up straight and paying attention. Researchers at Brigham Young University surveyed over 2,400 young adults between the ages of 18 and 30 who are currently dating, engaged, or married. What they found? 1 in 7 young adults who are in committed relationships are regularly interacting with an AI chatbot that simulate a romantic partner.
Let that sink in.
Not experimenting. Not casually browsing. Regularly. As in, this is a habit. A routine. A relationship.
Let’s be real. The signs were always there. Apps like Replika, Character.AI, and a growing list of others have been quietly building massive user bases for years. Between 2022 and mid-2025, the number of AI companion apps surged by 700%. Character.AI alone sits at 20 million monthly users, and more than half of them are under 24.
The internet has had communities built around this for a while now. There’s a Reddit thread called “My Boyfriend is AI” that currently has 45,000 members sharing experiences, advice, and stories about their AI relationships. Forty-five thousand people. That’s not a niche. That’s a movement.
And the thing is, the technology isn’t just offering conversation. These platforms offer both explicit sexual content along with a broader menu of relationship-mimicking interactions. Whatever a real-life partner isn’t providing, emotionally, physically, or otherwise, there’s apparently an app for that now.
Here’s where it gets uncomfortable. Because if people were using AI companions openly and their partners knew about it, that would be one conversation. But that is largely not what’s happening.
The study found a deeply troubling pattern of secrecy around AI romantic use. Of the partnered young adults who regularly interact with AI chatbots romantically, 30% said their partner had absolutely no knowledge of it. Another 11% said their partner was only somewhat aware. And 14% more said their partner knew something was going on, but not the full extent of it.
Do the math on that. More than half of partnered AI chatbot users are either completely hiding it or only partially disclosing it to the person they’re supposed to be building a life with. And nearly 70% said it was “somewhat or extremely important” that their real-life partner never find out the full truth.
If that doesn’t sound like cheating behavior to you, the secrecy, the hiding, the fear of being found out, then what exactly does?
Now here’s the part that’s genuinely worth sitting with, because dismissing it entirely would miss something important.
About two-thirds of AI chatbot users in the study said it’s easier to open up to their chatbot than to actual people in their lives. They feel more like themselves. Less judged. More understood.
And that’s not just a technology problem. That’s a relationship problem. That’s a communication problem. That’s a vulnerability problem that has existed in human relationships long before any algorithm ever showed up.
The chatbot didn’t create emotional unavailability in relationships. It just found a market in it.
But researchers are clear that the solution isn’t a smarter algorithm. Rather than waiting for real-life relationships and partners to develop and grow over time, AI companions offer immediate rewards through their one-sided interactions, and those shortcuts are not providing a strong foundation for lifelong relationships.
In other words, the bot will never challenge you. Never disagree with you. Never ask you to grow. And a relationship where you never have to grow isn’t a relationship. It’s a simulation.
The study didn’t just identify that this was happening, it tracked what it was doing to the actual relationships these people were in simultaneously. The results weren’t subtle.
Using an AI chatbot for romantic purposes was linked to a 46% decrease in the likelihood of being in a stable relationship. People using AI companions also showed lower quality communication with their real partners and a higher likelihood of breaking up or divorce.
And perhaps most telling, about half of chatbot users reported wishing their real-life partner would behave more like their AI. More than half wished their real conversations felt like their chatbot conversations.
When you start measuring your actual partner against a program designed specifically to make you feel good about yourself at all times, you’ve already started losing the plot on what real love actually requires.
As one researcher put it, AI companions offer users an illusion of control, they manipulate emotional reactions and create artificial bonds designed to keep you coming back and keep the platform profitable. The “connection” you feel isn’t mutual. It’s manufactured. And mistaking manufactured validation for genuine intimacy is one of the more dangerous things a person in a real relationship can do.
We’re not here to shame anyone for how they’re navigating loneliness, emotional needs, or communication struggles in their relationships. Those are real things that deserve real conversations.
But there is something worth naming clearly: if you’re hiding it from your partner, if you’re comparing them unfavorably to it, and if you’re emotionally investing in something that can never actually love you back, that’s worth looking at honestly.
The culture is always going to evolve. Technology is always going to push boundaries. But some things don’t change, and what makes a real relationship real is exactly what no algorithm can replicate: the sacrifice, the growth, the friction, the forgiveness, and the choice to show up for another person even when it’s hard.
A chatbot will never choose you. It will only respond to you. And there’s a very big difference between the two.
