A man who has mostly female friends gets side eyed fast, and most people jump to the same conclusion.
When I picture friendships between men, I think of a brotherhood. Frat brothers sitting around talking sports. Barbershops, basketball games and all the macho things guys do together. So what do we make of a straight man whose friends are almost all women?
The first assumption a lot of people make is that he isn’t as straight as he says he is. That’s lazy. Who a man is friends with says nothing about who he’s attracted to, and plenty of straight men simply connect better with women.
Some grew up surrounded by sisters, a single mom and aunties, and women are who they’re comfortable around. Some work in fields full of women. Some just like that women will talk about something besides sports and actually listen. A man who can sit with his feelings and open up to a friend is not less of a man. He might be easier to talk to than half the guys at the barbershop.
That said, there are a couple of types worth watching.
The first is the man who loves the drama. As a woman, there are days I want nothing to do with my own gender because of how much drama some women bring. But some people live for it, and some of them are men. They gravitate toward the women who always have the latest gossip and find a way to insert themselves into it. Other men notice and keep their distance from the male gossiper. They hear enough of it from their girlfriends at home.
The second is the player. His charm draws women in, so they can’t help but spend time with him. He becomes the go to stand in whenever her boyfriend isn’t acting right, playing the BFF role until somebody catches feelings and the whole friendship goes left. It’s a small percentage of men, but it happens.
So what if you’re dating him? Most of the time, a man with a lot of female friends is just a man who gets along well with women, and that can work in your favor. He probably communicates better and understands women more than the average guy. Pay attention to how he handles those friendships, though. If he’s open about who he talks to, introduces you to his friends and keeps clear boundaries, there’s nothing to worry about. If he’s secretive, gets defensive about one friend in particular or always seems to be the shoulder somebody else’s girl cries on, you may be dealing with the player.
His friend list doesn’t tell you who he is. How he treats you, and how he treats them, does.
