From the Baller Alert archive: first published in December 2008, this is one of the pieces that started it all.
“Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.” (Author Unknown)
The idea of a good mistress has long existed in conversations about loyalty, faithfulness, and how some relationships quietly survive infidelity.
Not the sidechick or the jump off. Those heffas will ruin a happy marriage.
What happened to the good ole days when the mistress was thanked, when the mistress was the reason the marriage stayed together? She allowed the baller to find an outlet for his needs when he wasn’t quite ready to throw the baby out with the bath water. He wants to stay home. The right mistress can do just that. She stays in her lane, never one to be demanding or threatening to expose her lover. She is well taken care of for her cooperation. She knows that the relationship can end at any moment, at any time, without further notice. Kinda like cable. Back in the days, the mistress was the one who took care of the baller’s sexual needs, while the wife attended to them whenever she got around to it. Many wives didn’t mind because they were too tired anyway. But the major reason they didn’t mind was that they knew their baller loved them, and what he was doing was nothing personal. It was what they called “being loyal, but not faithful.”
Of course, with women nowadays this won’t fly. Mostly because men are way too sloppy about it, and women are too accusatory, making men feel they might as well cheat if she expects it anyway. There are too many mistresses because of women. Back in the days, Uncle Tommy’s wife knew she was his wife, and if he sipped some tea on the weekends, well, “what the eye don’t see don’t hurt the heart.” In some cases, Uncle Tommy got the mistress pregnant, and the wife took over, bringing the child into the family. It’s odd, I know, but it happened. The mistress was usually “sent away,” and then the house went back to normal. The wives always maintained the superior role, never succumbing to tears and threats. When she was ready to strike, though, she’d come through hard. Seen that scene in Lackawanna Blues when the woman looking for her husband busted through the bar window with her bare hands? Alright, then.
You may be wondering why I am not mentioning cute little boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re engaged, lemme see the prenup. Frankly, if you’re not married, the big __________ just isn’t worth the stress. Really, it ain’t. Might as well get the house than another underwhelming “Sorry.”
Most women do not get the difference between being loyal and being faithful, and that’s OK. We all want everyone to be faithful and kind to one another, but the world doesn’t always walk in a straight line. The truth is, many people are caught up in a mess of some sort. Before you misinterpret, I am not condoning mistresses at all. Though, in the immortal words of the famous Chris Rock, “…But I understand.”
