Platonic friendships between men and women are easy to claim and a lot harder to pull off, especially when there’s real attraction involved. The old saying goes that men always want sex and women end up catching feelings. I have plenty of male friends, and I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t sleep with some of them if the moment presented itself. We’re human.
Before we go any further, take a whole group off the table. Saying you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex is easy when you aren’t attracted to them. The guy you think of as a brother and the woman you see as a sister don’t count here.
This is about the people you do find attractive. The ones you would happily end up in bed with under most circumstances. Maybe even the ones you already have a great sexual history with but have decided you’d rather keep as friends.
I think a platonic friendship with someone you’re attracted to is close to impossible without driving yourself crazy. You have to keep reminding yourself that you can’t go there and why. Sooner or later, things get awkward when the two of you are alone. The sexual tension almost always shows up.
Think about how men talk to each other. One says, “Lakiesha is fine as hell.” His boy asks, “Would you hit it?” And he answers, “Nah, she’s my BFF.”
You never hear that, because it doesn’t happen. Two people who are attracted to each other can’t just be best friends. If a man you find attractive wants to be your BFF, he’s interested in more than your friendship, plain and simple.
It works the other way too. A woman who befriends a man she finds very attractive is setting herself up to catch feelings eventually. It’s almost inevitable, and fighting it is a losing battle. Trust me, I know.
Here’s the part nobody wants to hear. If you’re friends with someone of the opposite sex and they have never once tried to make a move, chances are they just aren’t attracted to you.
Attraction doesn’t have to be emotional to get in the way. Even when it’s purely physical, two people who want each other can’t stay just friends for long.
If you’ve made it work, congratulations. Maybe you’re in the small percentage who can pull it off. Or maybe you’re about to end up in bed with your BFF sooner than you think.
