Op-Ed: He Was Chillin’ at His Baby Mama’s for the Fourth—Should You Be Mad or Move On?

The views and opinions expressed in this op-ed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Baller Alert. This piece is intended to share a personal perspective and spark thoughtful conversation.

When your man says he’s spending the holiday with his child, you nod and say okay because that’s the right thing to do. But when you find out he spent the whole Fourth of July weekend at his baby mama’s house, suddenly that “okay” doesn’t sit right anymore. Now you’re left wondering: should you be mad?

Let’s be clear. Co-parenting is necessary. And if your man is active in his child’s life, that’s a blessing, not a burden. But co-parenting doesn’t mean weekend-long sleepovers at the other woman’s place. There’s a fine line between being a good father and blurring boundaries in a relationship.

If this was truly about the child, he could have taken the kid out, spent time together at the park, the fireworks, or a family BBQ. But spending the entire holiday weekend under one roof with his ex? That’s not co-parenting, that’s disrespectful.

What hurts most isn’t just the visit. It’s the secrecy. If he didn’t mention where he was staying until you found out yourself, that’s already a red flag. Healthy relationships need transparency, not surprise reveals.

So, should you be mad? You’re not wrong for feeling some type of way. You’re not insecure or jealous. You’re human, and your intuition deserves respect.

This isn’t about controlling your man. It’s about protecting your peace. If he’s not setting boundaries with his past, he’s not giving you a secure future. And that’s the real problem.