Dr. Gary Chapman, a certified love expert and married man of 45 years, says the biggest issue he sees reoccurring in relationships is that couples love their partner the way they want to be loved themselves, instead of how their partner wants to be loved. You see, we all interpret and receive love in different ways, what I may perceive as love is different than what you may see as love. So, to help partners understand how they like to be loved, in order to properly receive and give, Dr. Chapman wrote The Five Languages of Love. According to this book, there are five different ways people receive love: through Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Read each language, and take the quiz, to see which language best describes you.
Words of Affirmation
Dr. Chapman says the number one complaint from couples that come to his office for help, is “I work my tail off every day, yet my spouse acts like I haven’t done a thing. I never get a single word of appreciation”. Appreciation is key in every relationship, but especially when your love language is words of affirmation. That mean’s a simple “Thank you”, or “You look beautiful today”, will be enough to make you and your heart smile.
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words, and that is especially true for people who receive love via actions. This means, instead of someone just telling you they love you, they have to show it to mean it. This can be shown by helping you with work, or doing the dishes for you, just as long as you can see them acting out their promise.
Receiving Gifts
Giving gifts is the universal way to show appreciation and gratitude, but is especially true for those who interpret love through the gifts they receive. The gift’s don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, it’s the thought that counts. So if you are someone who receives love through gifts, make sure to let your partner know, you like gifts on birthday’s, holiday’s and “just-because” days. It’s the little things that count!
Quality Time
If your love language is quality time, you need someone’s undivided attention In order to feel loved. That means, no TV, video games, or other distractions whenever you want to converse. If your significant other wants to do right by you, the best thing to is to turn off all distractions and dedicate 20 minutes of uninterrupted time.
Physical Touch
Long before a baby even knows the meaning of Love, he or she knows what it means to feel loved just by physical touch. Because that’s how important touch is. For the people who interpret love through Physical Touch , anything from a simple shoulder touch to a quick kiss, is enough to make you feel loved and secure.
You may feel like you can relate to all of the languages, but if you read carefully, one describes you perfectly, and that is your love language, that is how you receive love. So, decide which language is yours, and then figure out what love language your partner speaks. Once you all both know what you expect from each other, there should be no confusion and you and bae can start loving correctly.
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