The Single, Independent Woman

A little while ago, I wrote about these “Baby Boy” type of men and some of you fellas weren’t happy and wanted to discuss the terrible women out there so, here it goes. I personally don’t have any females like this in my “queendom” but, I’m well aware of their existence. You know, the types of women out here that are straight birds. Have a baby by you for the child support and make your life a living hell, don’t do nothing but keep up drama etc. etc. Now, these chicks are a whole lot but, if you can’t recognize a bird and stay away from that mess then I don’t feel sorry for you. However, there is a new breed of woman out here that deserves to be discussed. These women seem to make dating a little more difficult and tend to be misunderstood or complicated to say the least. Too many people have incorrectly titled them as “independent” however, I disagree. The reality is this; great lengths have been made to empower women starting from the time they are little girls. They are told that they can run the world, be successful and don’t have to be defined by having a man. While there is nothing wrong with this ideology, many men have no understanding of how to approach, handle or keep this type of woman. So, here’s a few tips for the fellas:

Be The Man

I’m not speaking in a misogynistic sense rather, affirm your position as the man in her life. Reminding her that while she is fully capable of doing for herself, there is no need to fight for that space now that you are a present force in her life.

It Ain’t Always About The Money

Stop assuming that every woman who has something going for herself only wants the upper echelon kind of man. Granted she may not immediately go for the everyday street hustler type but, you’d be surprised. A lot of these women already feel the odds are against them in relationships and are much more willing to try something new or out of their ordinary. Don’t make a common mistake and feel some kinda way just because she brings in a higher income than you. Be abundant in what you can provide and never, never feel inadequate. She shouldn’t have to downplay her accomplishments in order to stoke your ego. If you want more, let her help you get it.

Grow With Her

One of the biggest reasons why these types of women have difficulty with relationships is because, they are driven. They are goal oriented and want to grow emotionally, spiritually, professionally and personally. She will not be content playing “Molly da Maid” for you while you play video games and watch endless football day after day. She wants more from you because she requires a lot from herself if you wish to keep her attention for long.

Don’t Waste Your Time

Bottom line, if you can’t handle the heat then get out of the kitchen. I’m not gonna lie, these women ain’t the easiest to deal with. They can come off as bossy, bitchy, too strong, over opinionated, not easy to compromise or even non submissive but, don’t be fooled. They are all these things and then some if you exhibit all the qualities that would allow them the personal security to stop being their own “man” sort to speak. If you don’t want to deal with it then simply keep it moving.

Be A Team Player

Good men and women do exist. We just mess up when we think that “we” are always the epitome of good when in fact, we may be exhibiting some terrible traits to the other party involved. Relationships aren’t about being “right” rather, being right for the person you are with.

-Chantia

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