Tracee Ellis Ross Talks Fighting Her Fear Of Singing, Working With All Women On New Film “The High Note” And Breaking Social Standards For Single, Unmarried Women

Tracee Ellis Ross opens up about the challenges women of color face in Hollywood, the misconception of being happily single, and facing her fear of singing.

Ross, 47, has been our girlfriend for some time now. She’s an actor, producer, director and now company owner. While she’s already made her mark as one of the most influential people of our time, being the daughter of an icon seems to be difficult shoes to fill – or rather clothes. Ross, the daughter of former Motown singer Diana Ross, says some of her earliest memories of her mother are when she used to “steal” items from Mama Ross’s closet.

“My mom will say, ‘You can’t take that!’ Or, ‘You’re not going to be able to fit into that.’ And I’m like, ‘Watch me try!’ My mom was a beanpole; like, the size of my leg, but I figure out how to fit into stuff – alter it,” said Ross. Never defeated, Ross says she didn’t quite have that same confident energy when she decided to add singing to her resume. Ross portrays a singer named “Grace Davis” in her upcoming film, “The High Note,” which will be Ross’ first lead role in a film.

“It’s been my biggest dream and my most daunting fear to sing. But when you have a mother who is epic in that way, somehow secretly inside you think, ‘That’s not the thing to do. Pick something else,” the actress explained. She says she is excited for the new project because it will allow her to stretch a skill that she is not popularly known for, adding that she is fine that it took until now to try out music. “I’ve done quite a good job with the other path. It’s been working!” she laughs. “Nobody knew if I could sing or not. My publicist called my other publicist and was like, ‘But who is singing?’ And she was like, ‘Tracee – she’s been in the studio for months…’ This was life-changing for me. To face one of your biggest fears and to face it in such a public way.”

Ross has always been her own act, never subscribing to social norms or limiting herself to certain boxes. She responds that same way when it comes to her love life. Back at the 2017 American Glamour’s Women of the Year Summit, Ross addressed people who questioned her thoughts on unmarried women over 45 who don’t have children. “My concern was that, in the context of everything happening in the world, it was frivolous. But then I realized there was a lot of identification with that sentiment. We are told that our lives are not ours. We are taught and cultured in that way,” said Ross. She says she takes great pride in representing women who live independently and for themselves.

“It’s one of the reasons I feel so strongly about telling the stories that I tell. I wish I had known there were other choices, not just about how I could be living, but how I could feel about the way my life was. I was raised by society to dream of my wedding, but I wish I had been dreaming of my life. There are so many ways to curate happiness, find love, and create a family, and we don’t talk about them. It creates so much shame and judgment.” She even says she’s experienced moments where she has been pressured to find a man.

“I had some big celebrity guy go, [shakes head and taps watch on wrist] ‘You better get on it.’ And that was when I was in my thirties!” she recalled. “People misinterpret being happily single as not wanting to be in a relationship. Of course, I want to be in a relationship, but what am I going to do? Spend all the time that I’m not [in one] moping around? No. I’m going to live my life to the fullest, and I’m going to be happy right here, where I am.”

Ross also touched on the marginalization of women of color within the film, TV, and the hair care community. “Women have been relegated to a small amount of real estate, and, culturally, the beauty world is one of the spaces where we have been able to express ourselves fully and connect with each other,” she said. “For black and brown women, that space is even smaller, so as a result, it has become more than just a beauty thing, it’s a space for community. I thought I was alone in looking for self-esteem and not understanding that my physical appearance did not match up with what the world was saying was beautiful.”

“The High Note” is not only significant because it is Ross breakout moment in the film as a lead, but also because the movie was sculpted by an all-female team. The film is directed by #NishaGanatra, produced by Alexandra Loewy and written by Flora Greeson. “We are all very strong, opinionated, clear-minded, hard-working women who cared a lot and invested a lot in what we were doing. I’m mindful of not saying what it’s like working with women because it’s like saying what it’s like working with men or why you don’t want to work with women. What I know is that it was a great experience, and I was really grateful.”