I remember like it was yesterday, it was 2006 and my freshman year in college. I was head over heels for this fine brother by the name of Norris*. He was 6’4, smooth honey brown skin with long milk and honey infused dreads and he was the leader of Alpha Phi Alpha. (Which is a big deal at an HBCU) He was so smooth! Reminded me of a Maxwell mixed with a little Raheem Devaugn. We dated the whole first semester, and during that time he opened my mind and my body up to senses I hadn’t even known existed. To say I was smitten would be an understatement. I daydreamed about him constantly and compared our relationship to a modern day Freddie & Shaza from “A Different World”. Alas winter break came, and off we went to our perspective hometowns. There was very minimal conversation over the holidays but I was hopeful that maybe he had just gotten busy and couldn’t really get to a phone. (Naivete’ at its best) Once we returned in January, I hadn’t even settled into my dorm before I was making a bee-line to his off campus frat house. There I found him with Keisha* (thot) doing some serious lip-locking! I was devastated!
For weeks I could barely get my behind out of bed to even make it to class, and started falling behind in all my studies. I would just cry and cry thinking “how can I live without him? we were supposed to get married!”
Until spring came. They say a change of season will always do you good. I finally just stopped feeling sorry for myself, and vowed to chop this up as a lesson learned. College is exactly for this reason. Life lessons.
Even beyond college, in life, we as women throw pity parties over failed relationships that lasted entirely to long to begin with. These men who we “feel” we can’t live without ain’t bit more thinking about us like that than the man on the moon.
Ending a relationship can and will be hard, whether you have 4 months or 4 years invested into it. Cry it out, get it all out. Listen to all the Anita baker, Mary J Blige and Beyonce you want. But once you are done, be done and begin to live again. One monkey don’t stop no show so be better prepared for the next a-hole that comes your way. LOL xoxoxo kiss hershykiss.wordpress.com
