The house husband is becoming more common, and plenty of working women are asking themselves whether they could really respect one.
Times have changed for the ballerific working woman. There was a time when she didn’t get the same opportunities men did. She was paid less, kept from moving up in her career, and expected to stay home and take care of the house, the husband and the kids. Those days are mostly gone. Women are taking control of their careers and their lives.
At the same time, the economy has hit a lot of families hard. Plenty of men can’t find work to support their households. Two income families are becoming one income families, and working husbands are becoming house husbands. So do women really respect the man who stays home?
Ideally, when we get married, we picture a man who can provide for us and our family. Most of us never imagined we’d be the ones supporting him. It’s supposed to be the other way around, right?
Personally, I could have a house husband, but it would depend on three things: why he isn’t working, whether he understands my stress, and how secure he is in that role.
First, why he isn’t working. I’ll support a household as long as the man isn’t lazy. He doesn’t necessarily have to hold a job, but he has to do something. If he can’t work for whatever reason, he can stay home and contribute from there. Pick up odd jobs to help with money, get the kids from school, clean up before I get home. Maybe the recession hit his industry, or maybe part time work is all he can find. Either way, he needs to be doing some kind of work.
That ties into the second thing, understanding my stress. When I come home after a long day of earning money that doesn’t make itself, I don’t want to walk into unnecessary fights and arguments. Sometimes I’ll need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to me vent. A man who is putting in effort of his own, at home or anywhere else, gets that.
Third, he has to be secure being a house husband. He needs to know I love him too much to ever belittle him or make him feel like his opinions and decisions don’t matter. There is nothing worse than a man feeling like less of a man. Being a stay at home husband or father doesn’t make him less of anything. It may be unconventional, but it’s not less than.
