Ballerific Relationships – Are You in love with Transition “Dih”?

The worst part about a breakup (for me at least) is giving up the sex. You can find another guy to do almost anything with but the sex feels damn near irreplaceable; UNTIL you find your transition dick. Now I know you’re wondering what the hell transition dick is, so allow me to explain the meaning and the levels to this shit.

Transition dick: noun; dick used to temporarily replace your old dick until you find a dick for permanent or long term use. The operative word in the definition is TEMPORARILY. I have grown quite fed up with my friends, colleagues … hell even myself falling in love with the transition. Transition dick can be addicting. Eventually, it consumes your whole mind; you crave it, you daydream about it. At one point, for me, transition dick had become a drug. It gave me a high that I never wanted to come down from. No matter where I was the thought of my transition made my mouth water. HOWEVER you must always keep in mind that this is a short-lived feeling.

Rule #1 – minimize overnight stays. The more you spend the night, the more you began to feel like the transition is “the real thing”. Overnight stays are reserved for ya man or ya official bae; NOT THE TRANSITION DICK. Send his ass home whether it is via bus, train  …shit call TYRONE, but you must not let the morning wood catch you slipping!

Rule #2 – Now, this has been debated (in my head) over and over but I am going to go out on a limb and say very very few, if any, outside the house activities. Grabbing a drink or two is cool, but no Groupon dates, no “meet the fam” dates, and whatever you do, NO OUT OF TOWN DATES. You all serve each other one purpose; SEX. Groupon dates are just too cute for transition dick.  No reason why your transition dick needs to meet your mom. Why? Because he won’t be here long. Sooner or later the real thing will show up and you’ll barely remember what that dick looks like. Lastly, why would you go on vacation with your late night hype? There’s no reason. Something about going out of town that creates chemistry between people. Do not get caught up on Bourbon St., drunk as hell singing “We found love in a hopeless place” to the transition dick ( please take my advice on this one). You all do not travel outside of a 5 mile radius and that’s for Happy Hour & maybe a Redbox.

Rule #3 –  DO NOT NOW OR EVER BECOME THE CHICK WHO WANTS TO COOK, CLEAN, AND NURTURE the transition!!!! Transition hungry? Order yourself a pizza. Transition house nasty? Invite him to yours and refuse to go over until HE cleans his own place. Transition lost his job? “Aww I’m sorry to hear that. What time would be good to meet up this weekend?” THAT’S IT. The transition is going to allow you to do all 3 of those things unconsciously permitting you to feel like this MAY HAVE A ITSY BITSY chance of going somewhere and it DOESN’T. Do not be the girl at the end of the transitional period saying how much time and energy you invested. GET IN AND GET OUT.

Rule #4- This may be the most important of all, DO NOT, EVER EVER SPEND ANY MONEY ON THIS FOOL. Now fellas, if you’re reading let me explain. I am not speaking on the FEW Happy Hour spots ya’ll may hit or the red box, I’m referring to shoes, clothes, bills, etc. You are not here to be a “down ass bitch”. This situation is to be played to YOUR advantage. Again, women get so comfortable in these situations to where they begin to adopt the girlfriend role and MOST of the time you are the only one adopting these roles. Both of you all need to leave out of the “arrangement” with the same shit you came in with. For example, my “old faithful” transition had the nerve to ask me to buy him some work slacks to start a new job. Now, that sounds reasonable right? But you’re the same guy who has told me while pillow talking (breaking rule #1) that you get chicks to give you money. SO GUESS WHAT? NAH PLAYA, CALL YA MAMA. Don’t be no damn fool!

I think at this point it’s pretty clear, that there is no falling in love with the transition dick. It is not yours; it is only and always will be temporary. If you have violated any of the above rules, stop and ask yourself, “Am I in love with transition dick?”

P.S. Your current “boyfriend” could possibly be transition dick that went a bit too far.

-Killah