He Said “Let’s Be Friends” After the Breakup—Here’s Why That’s a Trap

As a female relationship coach, I’ve heard this one more times than I can count: “We broke up… but we’re still friends.”

Now unless you’ve both reached a level of spiritual enlightenment that allows you to watch each other fall in love with someone else without flinching, I’m here to tell you this: you’re lying to yourself.

Let’s rewind.

You met a man. The connection was instant. You vibed over lattes and late nights. There were flowers, candlelit dinners, Netflix cuddles, and stolen kisses that made your soul dance. You didn’t just like him—you envisioned a life with him. And now, after all of that, someone decided it’s best if you two “just stay friends.”

Friends? Girl, bye.

Let’s be honest. That “friendship” idea usually comes from one side—the one doing the leaving. It’s often a polite way of softening the blow. It sounds mature. It feels like a safety net. But more often than not, it’s emotional manipulation masked as closure.

The truth is, post-breakup “friendships” rarely come without strings. There’s always one person still catching feelings, checking their phone, analyzing every message and Insta story, hoping there’s still a chance.

And don’t even get me started on friends-with-benefits.

You’re gonna tell yourself you’re cool with him dating other people while still sliding into your bed occasionally? No ma’am. That’s a front. You’re not being empowered—you’re being emotionally starved. You’re giving someone full access to you while they give you half-assed effort.

At some point, you’ll catch yourself spiraling—stalking new girls, reading into every “hey” text, or waiting on calls that never come. And the heartbreak? It lingers longer because you never actually let go.

Staying in this “friendship” keeps you emotionally anchored to someone who is no longer investing in you. It clogs the space where real love could enter. You can’t build a future with someone new when you’re still low-key trying to relive the past.

I get it—it’s tempting. This person knows your quirks, your soft spots, your favorite songs. But comfort isn’t clarity. Familiarity isn’t a reason to stick around.

So what do you do instead?

You let go. Completely.

Delete the number, unfollow the feed, and resist the urge to “check in.” Give yourself the gift of real closure, not the illusion of connection. Protect your heart by creating space for someone who actually wants to be in your life—for real, not just when it’s convenient.

You deserve someone who doesn’t confuse your presence with an emotional crutch. Someone who doesn’t call it “friendship” just to soften their guilt while they move on guilt-free.

Every breakup isn’t a tragedy. Sometimes, it’s your soul saying “thank you, next.”

So if he says “let’s be friends,” and your heart says “I’m not over this,” do yourself the biggest favor and say:

“Thanks… but no thanks.”