She Likes You, But Not Your Race

by Cambreisha M.

The topic she likes you but doesn’t like your race is a very touchy subject for black men. The fact of the matter is that if she has stereotypical views of your race that are negative, then she might like you, but not the race you come from. I know a girl personally who is married to a black man, and she is beyond prejudice. She always excludes her husband from her views because he is “different” and not like “regular” black people. I had a discussion with her one day about her views on black people, and I must admit it did get a little heated.

She thinks that black people are lazy, don’t want to work, and just want handouts because of slavery. I then pointed out to her that her husband was unemployed, had a child that he doesn’t see nor take care of, and he’s not educated. I told her, your husband is the very thing you despise in black people. She then said she didn’t have to explain his situation to me and walked away. My point is, most black men allow white women to be disrespectful of their race because they think its “cute” or harmless. They don’t realize the damage that they are doing by allowing another race to be disrespectful. They allow this because they feel some type of way about their race themselves, and they too believe in the negative stereotypes. They don’t understand that we, as a race, can never change the negative stereotypes if we agree with another race on them.

They fail to understand the impact of a black person putting down another black person in front of white people. I always try to remind my black brothers to remember they are black and will always be black no matter how many white women they date. A white woman will remind you of that very thing once things go wrong. Black men like to think that if a white woman loves to date black men that she can’t be prejudice or discriminatory, and that is very ignorant. We all have certain views, positive and negative, on every race. People that you thought were great people, disappointed you when President Obama ran for office. Some immediately allowed their suppressed feelings about black people to come through.

Most white women I know who date black men don’t like black women for the simple fact they think we don’t like them because they date black men. This is a subject that you can’t deny no matter how many excuses you make; some people have a superiority attitude when it comes to black people, PERIOD. Don’t misunderstand this fact with thinking that being prejudice means you hate them because that’s just not true. The first thing some white women will do when this topic is brought to their attention is to say they love black people and have black friends/kids/partners, etc. You can still look down on those you love; we all do it.

A topic like this will make people feel like I am jealous and “hating” and racist. Cognitive dissonance won’t allow people to deal with the harsh realities and therefore cause them to find an excuse or justification to make themselves feel less conflicted on uncomfortable topics. Whether you accept it or not, a white woman can love her black man and her black children, while still feeling like she’s better than black people. Most of those white women look down on black women, not black men so much. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a white woman with a black man and she looks at me like, I know you wish you had him or they feel the need to out “black” me.

We all have expectations and views of our own race along with other races, that doesn’t change just because you decided to date outside of your race.