Mr. Perfect Turned Out to Be Mr. Narcissist—Now I Need a Therapist

As a female relationship coach, I’ve seen the heartbreaking damage narcissists can do in romantic relationships. It’s not just “toxic behavior”—it’s psychological warfare. Narcissistic men and women aren’t just self-absorbed or cocky. When someone has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), they’re not capable of love the way a healthy partner is. And if you’re caught in their web, it will take everything you have just to untangle your identity from theirs.

Let’s be clear—narcissism is a clinical disorder. It’s marked by an inflated sense of self-importance, an obsessive need for admiration, and most dangerously, a lack of empathy.

At first? He’s magnetic.

The narcissist is charming, flattering, and smooth. He says all the right things. He mirrors your interests, makes you feel seen, and treats you like the most beautiful woman in the world. It feels like a dream—until it becomes a nightmare.

He’ll start telling you about all the women who want him. Why? Not to share—but to instill insecurity. He wants you to feel like you’re lucky to have him, not the other way around. These are the early signs of the power games to come.

The mask drops once he knows he has you. Once you start trusting him, falling for him, believing in the version of him he sold you. That’s when the gaslighting begins.

• He can’t take criticism—not even gentle, well-meant feedback.

• He’s never at fault. Ever. You’re always “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “misunderstanding him.”

• He lacks empathy. When you cry, he stares. When you hurt, he disappears—or worse, he mocks.

• He’ll flirt in front of you, compare you to other women, and make sure you feel replaceable.

And through all of this, he’ll still talk about himself like he’s a gift from the heavens. You’ll notice his “interest” in you feels scripted. Rehearsed. It’s not connection—it’s control.

Here’s the scariest part: narcissists are not in relationships—they’re in performances. They curate an image, and the second you no longer serve the ego boost, the affection vanishes.

And no, you cannot fix him. Your love, patience, or sacrifice will never be enough to transform a narcissist. Because deep down, he knows he’s broken—but he refuses to confront it.

Staying in this kind of relationship will chip away at your self-esteem, your joy, your sense of reality. You’ll start to question your worth, your instincts, even your sanity.

You have to leave.

Not tomorrow. Not after “one more talk.” Not when he “promises to change.”

Now.

This isn’t a man who needs more love. This is a man who uses love to manipulate. Narcissists are emotional abusers. Period.

Protect your heart. Reclaim your power. And most of all—never apologize for choosing yourself.

You deserve a relationship rooted in respect, empathy, and truth. Anything less? Let it go and never look back.