Ballerific Sex – The Makings of a Chronic Masturbator

That one thing that we all do, that thing no one wants to admit to. The one thing that we can depend on, when we can not depend on anything else. The one thing that everyone can do with little to no sexual drive. The one sexual thing that we can all do no matter our sexual orientation, social class or religion. So if we all do it, why the stigma? Why the shame and embarrassment?

I (too) was once embarrassed to touch myself. I would lay in my bed night after night wondering what it was like, how to do it. Asking myself if I need toys, help or porn. When in reality all I needed was myself, and a couple of dirty thoughts. I began having these thoughts at about age 15, I’m assuming when my hormones were so out of control I needed a release. It would not be until about 4 years later that I finally got that release.

Picture it .. New Orleans, Louisiana, 2007; I was dating a guy (we’ll call) Michael for about a year. We had spent most of the night dancing our lives away in the French Quarters, I really can not recall how much liquor I consumed that night. Of course, the night led back to his place. We fell in the door, kissing, hugging, and rubbing. Falling in the room and then onto his bed, as we began to do the wild thang. Some of the best wild thang I have ever had in my life to this day. After it was over, we talked for about 20 mins, and then he told me he was sleepy. So I kissed and turned over to go to sleep. Two minutes into my sleep, I felt the bed shaking. I turned over and he was masturbating.

Initially, I felt disrespected. Like I just “put it down” ( or at least I thought so) and you’re MASTURBATING?! Michael then told me that he had masturbated every night since he was 13, even if he had sex. He promised me that it was his sleep aide and had nothing to do with my performance. To make me feel better, he said, “Do it with me.” Now, of course, I was like “Hell no”. After about 5 minutes I gave in, what the hell right? So we both laid on our backs, side by side .. he said “Just relax, it’ll be over before you know it and you’ll feel better. I closed my eyes, thought of the amazing “jug” (New Orleans slang for sex) we just had and let go. The feelings were indescribable, unlike anything I had ever felt before. With ever stroke, I felt more and more numb. Finally, my chest began to pulsate, my feet went numb, something “squirted” and I screamed. When I opened my eyes, Michael was looking directly at me and laughing, “Not bad for a first timer”. We kissed, and went to sleep.

The next day I would return back to Texas. That night I climbed in bed and immediately thought about what happened the night before, and thinking, should I try this again? So I did, and it was even better that time! I became addicted, trying it over and over. Some part of me thought, this can not feel this good EVERY time! But it did, it got better and better. After about 3 months it came to the point where I was just like Michael; a chronic masturbator. I needed the feeling to fall asleep; almost like a sedative. Whenever I feel stress, I need it. Whenever I feel happiness, I need it. I must masturbate every night before I fall asleep and I do not feel bad about it.

Do you masturbate? If not, why not?! The best thing you can learn to do for yourself. You will not get an STD, you do not have to spend $100+ on dinner, and pregnancy is not a concern! I endorse masturbation and I encourage you to.

-Killah