Why Some Women Are Done With Wifey Dreams and Cool With Being the Side Chick

“So when does it end? When do married and taken men stop approaching me?”

It’s a question many women ask in frustration — but maybe it’s time to ask a different one: When will you stop allowing yourself to be a side chick?

In a world full of curated couple goals and picture-perfect proposals, there’s an uncomfortable truth quietly gaining traction. More and more women are embracing the role of “the other woman” — not out of desperation, but by choice. Whether it’s emotional detachment, fear of commitment, or just exhaustion from the dating game, some women are waving the white flag on traditional love and proudly joining the Forever Side Chick Club.

Let’s be real: celebrity culture has made it easier to normalize this dynamic. Public figures flaunt baby mamas and side pieces like accessories, and society claps it up like it’s revolutionary. Bad behavior gets swept under the red carpet, and the side chick narrative is no longer taboo — it’s almost trendy.

For some women, it’s not even about being fooled or led on. They know he has someone else. Some even prefer it. There’s no pressure, no expectations of commitment, and no illusions about the relationship becoming more than it is. It’s not about being chosen — it’s about having control over what little access they’re granted.

But don’t get it twisted — there’s a high price to pay for playing the role. Yes, there might be fancy dinners, luxury gifts, or the thrill of forbidden love, but those come with lonely nights, ignored holidays, and the cold reality of never being enough. You’re not the partner — you’re the placeholder.

And then there’s the myth that “I only attract married men.” No, sis. Men are just highly skilled at spotting women who silently tolerate infidelity. They know who won’t demand more. They gravitate to women who they know will stay quiet, stay loyal, and most importantly, stay in line.

The most dangerous kind of side chick is the one who doesn’t want more. She’s not planning on breaking up his home. She’s not waiting for him to leave his wife or move her into the house with the white picket fence. She’s content… or at least she’s convinced herself she is. That doesn’t mean there’s no motive behind her role — it just means she’s playing the long game, one only she understands.

From childhood, many girls are groomed for marriage. But others grow up learning survival over romance — settling for a sliver of love because they’ve never been shown what the whole thing feels like. For them, being the other woman becomes familiar. But that familiarity shouldn’t be confused with peace.

So what exactly are the perks of being a card-carrying member of the Forever Side Chick Club? Let’s see:

• You’re invisible on birthdays and holidays

• You can’t call when it matters

• You’re his escape, not his priority

• And worst of all, you know deep down that if you disappeared, his life wouldn’t change

At the end of the day, it’s your heart, your worth, and your time on the line. If keeping the bed warm for a man who won’t even post you is what’s keeping you going, it might be time to ask yourself why that feels like enough. Because while he’s playing house elsewhere, you’re stuck playing yourself.

You weren’t born to be someone’s secret. And you definitely weren’t built to be somebody’s back-up plan.