Sara Duffey, a Tulsa-area hairstylist and TikTok influencer also known as Sara Gilson, is dead after her estranged husband broke into her Owasso, Oklahoma home and shot her before turning the gun on himself. The Owasso Police Department confirmed both were found dead of gunshot wounds on July 23 after Duffey’s young son called 911 during a domestic disturbance. The child was not physically hurt.
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The man who killed her, Jeremiah “Shawn” Duffey, 48, was known online as Duff Daddy and coached youth girls basketball, including the Oklahoma Federal Ballerz 2030 program and a team at Glenpool High School. He and Sara Duffey were estranged. On June 10, she filed an emergency protective order against him in Tulsa County, and a judge ordered him to stay 100 yards away from her and move out of the home they shared.The allegations in that filing are what turned this into a national story. According to court records reviewed by People and reporting from KJRH, Sara Duffey alleged in her protective order that her husband had been caught kissing a child on one of the basketball teams he coached, and that when he was confronted, he threatened suicide and fled. On that same day, the mother of a 15-year-old girl who played on Duffey’s team filed a separate protective order, alleging he had been seen kissing and fondling her daughter and was caught alone with her by another coach. That filing claimed the teenager later told her mother Duffey sent her inappropriate messages, invited her to his hotel room during a tournament, and gave her money to keep quiet. A report was made to Owasso police. Both orders were allegations in civil filings. Duffey was never criminally charged in connection with either before he died, and none of it was proven in court.
Eleven days before the shooting, Sara Duffey posted a TikTok using the viral trend where users describe what a Netflix documentary about their life would cover. In her video, on screen text read that she was preparing for when Netflix drops a documentary about her soon to be ex husband, who she said she had just found out was a pe***hile. The video is part of what pushed her protective order allegations into public view, and it is circulating widely now alongside news of her death.
Family members have filled in the rest of the picture. An extended family member told Tulsa’s News Pulse that Duffey broke into the home, killed Sara, and then killed himself. Court records show this was not the first time Sara Duffey had sought protection from him. She filed two separate protective orders against him in 2021, both of which were dismissed after she did not appear for the required hearings. This time, she followed through. She was in court roughly a month before her death explaining to a judge why she wanted the order extended, and it had been extended through August 24.
Sara Duffey leaves behind two teenage children from a previous marriage. Their father, Lyle Landers, described her in a Facebook post as the life of the party who loved her kids more than anything. Her niece, Colbi Manry, told News On 6 that Sara was growing as an influencer but that being a mom was always her greatest role, and that clients who came to her for hair ended up seeing her as a genuine friend. Manry said the news left her gutted.
Owasso police have said there is no ongoing threat to the public and have not yet formally classified the case, though every detail released so far points to a murder suicide. What is drawing the most attention now is the timeline. Sara Duffey did what advocates tell survivors to do. She filed for protection. She showed up in court. She named what she said was happening to a child. And eleven days after she posted that video, her husband found a way into her home anyway.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233.
