Deciding whether to keep gifts from your ex gets complicated fast, especially once someone new is in the picture.
I was sitting at work when I looked up and saw a teddy bear a boyfriend gave me one Valentine’s Day. We aren’t together anymore, and we haven’t spoken in a very long time. It got me thinking about the right way to move on. Is it okay to hold on to mementos from a past love when you’re with somebody new?
I’m talking about gifts: Valentine’s Day presents, anniversary jewelry, birthday gifts and things like that. For me, it depends on two things, the gift and the new partner.
If a gift mainly reminds me of the person who gave it, it has to go. I’m the type who likes to move forward, not back. Teddy bears, clothes, anything covered in hearts or “I love you” goes in the trash.
Even if my new man wasn’t bothered by it, I’d let it go out of respect. And honestly, if he was holding on to old Valentine’s Day gifts from an ex, I’d feel some kind of way about it. Call it insecure if you want, but if my boyfriend had his ex’s gifts all over the house, I’d wonder what they meant to him and why he was keeping them. I wouldn’t ask him to throw them away, but I’d have every right to be curious.
Expensive gifts are a different story, and so are gifts from occasions that weren’t about romance, like a birthday. I would never make my man throw out an expensive piece of jewelry, I don’t care who it came from. The cheap love tokens, though, he can toss. I wouldn’t force him, but I’d definitely ask why he kept them.
There is one real exception. I’d keep a gift from a past love, even an inexpensive one, if that person meant something to me far beyond the relationship. Someone who passed away. Someone who stood by me through the hardest parts of my life. Someone I’m still friends with today.
Even then, I’d be upfront with my partner about who the gift came from and why it matters to me. Any good partner would understand.
So the rule is simple. Let go of the gifts that keep you tied to the relationship. Keep the valuable pieces and the ones that honor someone who truly mattered. And whatever you keep, be honest with whoever you’re with now.
