“But We’re Just Friends”

For the past few weeks Baller Alert has been keeping up with the latest dish on the split between Trina and French Montana and his newfound romance with Khloe Kardashian. And after his sit down on the Wendy Williams Show, we all could see that this situation was deeper than rap. Later Trina went to discuss the matter head on during her Breakfast Club Interview. She looked as if she was more hurt by French throwing the “friend” word around so loosely and not at the fact that he has moved on. Trina sets the record straight and explains that she was more than a friend to him yet confirms that they were never officially a couple (click here to watch).

Here is what happens when just ‘going with the flow’ goes wrong. This is a perfect example of how men can be so detached from their emotions and are willing to publicly display it. From “We’re just kickin’ it” to “I really fucks with you, you know what’s up”. You’ve been doing girlfriend things and going above and beyond to show your love. Lately, you’ve been so caught up in what the two of you have until it dawns on you that you really don’t know what you two are . You have allowed this thing to carry on without knowing your position and where you stand in it. You check the timeline and notice how much time has been invested and things just don’t quite add up. You’ve been playing the girlfriend role without a commitment. Now you begin to question “What are we?” and “Where is this going?”. You want answers and you need them now! He confidently says to you in the most sincerest tone possible, “We’re just friends”.

That high you were on just came tumbling down. You cant believe what you’re hearing, right? You aren’t even concerned with what he said but more in the comfortableness of his [words]. His words flowed, they were natural and they were honest, “We’re just friends”. Like most women I know, you might have a blackout moment to process what he’s saying. You might have a bewildered look of fury because its not processing quickly enough. And right before you snap you might even ask him to run that back because you don’t think you heard him correctly, but you did…..you two are just friends.

Nothing bothers me more than the term “friends” when it comes to the opposite sex. Its just unrealistic. True enough, men and women can have a genuine friendship and date, however, there should be certain boundaries that are set and not crossed. The importance of having a clear understanding of what you both want from the beginning is crucial. It feels good, its easy and light until someone starts to catch feelings.

So many of us are stuck in the moment and too afraid to question our title in fear of running the other person away. Don’t get washed away in all of the grey area and allow your pride to make you think you know where you stand in his life. If you are ever reckoned with this experience it hurts and you might blame yourself. You thought that what was understood didn’t need to be said. And factually, that saying doesn’t apply to love and relationships.

Everything needs to be said especially when dealing with men. Being friends and not setting boundaries can create gateways for other unacceptable behavior: he treats you less than you deserve, the dates stop, and he becomes content with the way things are because you two are simply friends. He even feels like he can talk to and open openly flirt with other women and you shouldn’t be bothered by this because, you both are just friends. Things get even more concerning to you when you discover that he has more “friends” that feel the same way about him as you do. Those same friends who he once made you feel comfortable around because he stressed to you that they were just friends and nothing more. You were ok with that until you found out that you too are just a friend. Don’t set the stage without being given an option of roles to play, you can choose to take the lead or become an extra.